


Easter Surprise

by EndoratheWitch



Series: Gotham Holidays [15]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, Batman: The Animated Series, Batman: The Dark Prince Charming (Comics), Harley Quinn (Comics), Suicide Squad (2016), The Joker - Fandom
Genre: Acid, Easter, Easter Egg Hunt, Explosions, F/M, Face Painting, Guns, Joker and Harley had a fun loving relationship, Shameless Smut, Shooting Guns, gotta make my perv count every week, joker gas, violence with a mallet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-21
Updated: 2019-04-21
Packaged: 2020-01-23 08:52:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,707
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18546430
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EndoratheWitch/pseuds/EndoratheWitch
Summary: Joker and Harley want to celebrate Easter with some friends





	Easter Surprise

Easter weekend in Gotham turned out to be a what most would call a beautiful spring day; the sky was a crisp blue with only wisps of white clouds in the sky above. A tour bus had taken a group of tourists all through Gotham, seeing all the sights from Wayne Tower to the infamous Arkham Asylum to the famed Robinson Park and even passed the notorious the Iceberg Lounge. Jerry Bradshaw, a man in his mid-thirties, skinny and balding, sighed and glanced at his boyfriend with growing annoyance. 

“I told you I hate guided tours. We would have had more fun on our own.” Jerry crossed his arms over his chest, pouting as he looked out the window. 

George Peterson, a heavy set man with a thick mane of brown hair so dark everyone thought it was black, sighed. He was tired of hearing Jerry complain the entire time they had been on the bus. They were visiting from Star City. The plan was for them to have a great time in Gotham, a place that Jerry was obsessed with, and end their vacation with George proposing at dinner tonight. But Jerry had done nothing but complain since they arrived in Gotham, mostly about the fact that they hadn’t seen one of the costumed criminals that Batman fought, nor had they seen Batman. 

All of Jerry’s complaining made George realize that Jerry wasn’t a fan of Gotham City itself so much as he was a fan of the criminal element in Gotham. 

George didn’t respond to Jerry; it was better to let him pout himself out before engaging him again. Instead, George looked around at the people on the bus with them. He had noticed that all the people on the bus were either couples or singles, no families it seemed. He frowned, guessing that most people wanted to spend their spring vacation with family, not on a tour bus in Gotham, though he did notice that a lot of them were college age students. There was a group of young men and all of the people on the bus had to be in their twenties or so, good looking bunch of young guys. George smirked. He and Jerry had met in college--love at first sight--and while George didn’t mind gazing at the young men, all who were pretty, young, lean, he loved Jerry, even if the man was being impossible at the moment. 

George turned his attention from the handsome young men to a group of young women, all with hair so white they had clearly bleached, and so straight that they all must have worshipped their hair straighteners in the morning. The Stepford Girls were laughing and flirting with the young men. George watched with an amused smile as the two groups flirted back and forth. He continued to look over the passengers. He saw a big man with a belly that for some reason made George think of an ex-cop, maybe retired; there were a couple of older women who looked like school teachers; but the rest had to be all college kids out here in Gotham for spring break instead of hitting the beaches like most kids their age. His gaze moved among the rest of the patrons of the tour bus. Including Jerry and himself, there was almost fifty people on the bus. No one in particular stood out to him as colorful or special however as he looked around the bus until his gaze landed on the bus driver and the tour guide. 

The bus driver was a typical big city bus driver, so typical the man was almost a stereotype with his big belly--which was testing the buttons of his light blue uniform shirt--unshaven cheeks, large nose and bald head. George was fairly certain that the bus driver, who’s name was Vinnie, was drinking. He had noticed that the man bent over and picked up a brown paper bag to take a sip from it periodically. George knew he could be wrong, but he doubted it. 

The tour guide was almost a stereotype too. He was thin, handsome, but with the sort of handsome features that were clearly bought and paid for judging by the plastic, unmoving aspect to the man’s face. The guide’s skin was the color of a light latte with startling green eyes that George was sure were from contacts. The guide’s name was Ryan. George was indifferent to the guy, but Jerry hated the guide with a passion. George had to admit, the man was as fake as they came. The tour guide’s voice had that fake, over the top excitement, almost like the man was selling snake oil. 

George sighed and sat back ,wondering how he was going to convince Jerry to go back out tonight for dinner when the bus driver suddenly pulled the bus to the side, the wheels squealing against the asphalt as the man pulled the bus over, parking it alongside several cars that were parallel parked along the sidewalk. The man pulled the handle that allowed the bus door to fold back and stood up after turning off the engine 

“Gotta take a break,” the bus driver called out loud enough to be heard by the tourists, while at the same time he reached down to pull at his slacks and shoved Ryan out of the way as he made his way down the stairs and exited the bus in a hurry. 

Everyone, including Ryan, looked on as the bus driver hurried inside the building they had parked near. It was an old building; the lower floor looked to be a cross between a liquor store and a second-hand shop with a colorful array of men’s blazers in the shop window along with a large neon sign that read in blue and red neon: “Best Cup of Coffee.” 

Everyone was quiet for a few seconds before Ryan frowned and shrugged. “Well, I guess he couldn’t hold it any longer.” 

One of the college students raised his hand and Ryan pointed at him. “Can we all get off?” asked the younger man. 

Ryan frowned. “Ah, I don’t think that would be a good idea, this isn’t a stop on our tour and we are due back at your hotel within the hour…” 

One of the young women with the white bleached hair raised her hand. “Well, what if we all gotta take a piss?” 

Ryan’s plastic features took on what could only be an annoyed expression. “Miss, we don’t have permission to simply walk into someone’s establishment and use the facilities…” 

The same woman pouted. “Well the bus driver did…” 

Ryan opened his mouth to reply when four figures came rushing onto the bus. The first figure to enter the bus was a large bald man wearing a bright, lemon yellow and pastel pink tutu, jogging pants and matching shirt with a pair of pink and white polka dot bunny ears on his bald head. He held an AK-47 in his large hands. The large tutu wearing man pushed Ryan aside and walked with purpose down the bus aisle. Everyone stared, speechless. George frowned wondering if this was some sort of stunt. He wouldn’t be surprised, some of the things he had heard about Gotham made him believe that anything was possible. This place was crazy. He still didn’t quite understand Jerry’s infatuation. 

Following the bald man in the tutu was another man, tall and with dark blonde hair cut short in a way that reminded George of a cop or someone in the military. This man was dressed conservatively in contrast to the first man; he wore a black suit and red tie, with a white dress shirt, and he was also armed. The two men hurried to the back of the bus. The tutu wearing one stood at the very back with a bright smile on his face while the second man stopped about midway down the aisle. Neither of them said anything, but kept a watchful eye on the crowd. They both held their weapons ready, waiting. 

No one on the bus said anything at first, though Ryan had just begun to recover when next came a man dressed in what George thought of as an old fashioned looking chauffeur's uniform, although the color was all wrong, something he would see in a PBS mystery series set in Great Britain before the war with a round driver’s hat, long, knee-length coat that had large gold buttons that ran parallel down the front of the jacket. George could see a hint of a sharp collared shirt underneath. The man’s gloves and slacks were the same shade of dark purple as his jacket, and lastly, the man’s shoes were just as old fashioned as the rest of the outfit--a pair of sharp toed black oxfords with white spats over them. George straightened up in his seat trying to get a look at the man. He could see the man wore round purple lensed glasses, but George would have sworn the man’s face was painted white...and was he wearing lipstick? 

The chauffeur's companion--who came into the bus right on his heels--was a woman with what George recognized as a killer figure, with golden blonde hair that she had up in pigtails tied with bright red ribbons. Her face was painted white with a small black mask around her eyes that only made her light blue eyes stand out against the clown white makeup on her face. The dress she wore reminded George of those Lolita dresses. The dress, bright red, dropped to just above the woman’s knees and was fluffed out with petticoats. The top of the dress was cut snug to her figure with long sleeves that ended in large black cuffs along with a high black collar that was similarly styled to the large cuffs. The dress had a large heart shaped cut out over her breasts that showed off a great deal of her cleavage. The outfit was completed with a pair of white, sheer, knee high socks that were held in place at her knee with ribbon, one black, one red and a pair of baby doll shoes, one black and one red. 

The man in purple pushed Ryan into the aisle while the woman in red--who was also armed George saw--was holding what looked for all the world like a large mallet that she had painted with red and black diamonds shapes on it. 

Ryan yelped. “HEY! What’s the big idea? Who are you people?” 

The crowd on the bus began to murmur, but the pretty blonde in red yelled over them. 

“All right pipe down!” The woman slammed her mallet down on the floor of the bus with a loud BANG! 

Everyone’s mouths seemed to snap shut at once, all eyes on the front of the bus. The woman grinned while the man in purple came to stand just a little behind her and to the side. He draped one arm around her waist, a strange smile on his bright red lips, his eyes hidden behind the glasses. 

The woman in the red glared at everyone before she continued. “All right, you bunch of tourists are in luck! You’re all being invited to a special Easter party being hosted by none other than the Clown Prince of Crime, the clown who makes all of Gotham laugh, the one, the only, the sexiest man in Gotham: THE JOKER!!” Her smile was bright with perfect white teeth, though that turned into a frown as the crowded bus patrons all gasped. 

Harley snarled. “NOW CLAP!” 

The two men who had entered the bus first shifted in a threatening way, the big man with the bunny ears grinned from ear to ear. 

The crowd’s claps were slow, but as Harley glared at everyone the clapping became more enthusiastic. (George looked over at Jerry with wide eyes, but Jerry looked star-struck.) 

The Joker laughed with delight and pulled off his hat (which now made his green hair visible to all) and bowed to the bus patrons. He rose up and kissed Harley on the cheek. 

“Aww!! Thank you for such a wonderful introduction my sweet!!” The Joker grinned standing beside Harley as the murmurs ran through the bus. “Since my sweet girl gave me such a fantastic introduction, let me introduce to you, the beautiful, the talented, in more ways than one, if you all get my drift…” Joker grinned and gave an exaggerated wink. “The one, the only, the most beautiful woman in all of Gotham! HARLEY QUINN!” 

Harley held the corner of her fluffy skirt and curtsied. This time the crowd applauded, but with pale, scared faces. 

Ryan, his features twisted with fear, asked in a quiet tone. “What are you going to do with us?” 

Joker laughed. “Just what we said! Harley and I have an Easter party planned, with so much chocolate Augustus Gloop would go into diabetic shock!” 

Someone on the bus, who yelled out their question before they ducked down so Joker or Harley wouldn’t see them, asked. “Why?” 

Joker and Harley each exchanged an amused look before they turned their eyes back on the bus of people and replied in unison. “Why not?” 

Joker and Harley giggled with delight before Joker continued. “Our own Bob…” Here Joker pointed to the tutu wearing man with the AK-47. “Will be our resident Easter bunny…” Bob grinned in delight and gave finger waves to everyone. 

Joker waved back and continued. “We’ll have some face painting…” 

The Joker glanced toward Frost who sighed dramatically and rolled his eyes. “Boss I…” 

Joker and Harley pouted. “Oh come on Frost!” Harley whined. “You are so good at it!” 

Frost sighed and twisted his lips to the side. “Fine.” 

Joker chuckled and continued. “Face painting and egg coloring! And, the best, most funniest part of all, we have an Easter egg hunt planned!!” 

Joker and Harley clapped their hands. “Egg hunt! Egg hunt!” 

Joker laughed. “All right everyone! Let’s go have some Easter fun!!” 

Ryan, in some misguided attempt to be responsible for his customers, walked up to the two of them. “You cannot take these people hostage!” 

Joker blinked in surprise and glanced sideways at Harley as he whispered loud enough for many of tourists to hear. “Did he just tell us no?” 

Harley nodded in astonishment. “He did puddin.” 

“Harley, my sweet pumpkin, would you show him what we do with people who tell us no?” Joker kissed her cheek. 

Harley giggled. “Of course puddin.” 

Ryan looked between the two criminals. “Ah, now…” 

Harley moved with speed and grace as she grabbed up her mallet and, despite the tight space of the tour bus, swung her weapon. Ryan only had enough time to make a desperate squeaking sound before the mallet smashed the man in the side of the head and sent him flying into one of the passengers with a splatter of blood against one of the bus’s windows. 

Everyone on the bus screamed. 

Joker laughed as he sat down behind the steering wheel and grabbed it with the enthusiasm of a child. “All right everyone, hold onto your butts!!!” 

Joker hit the gas and whipped the bus out into Gotham traffic to the squeal of tires and drivers laying on their horns, with Joker laughing hysterically the entire time. 

Harley turned to face the tourists with a wide almost manic grin on her face. “Now, if you look to your left, you’ll see …” 

Harley frowned looking to her left and laughed as the bus zipped by a small coffee shop. “Oh hey puddin! That was that coffee shop we went in looking for pumpkin spice lattes! You remember that? We had sex on the table…” 

Joker laughed, both hands on the steering wheel while he leaned back over his shoulders to look at her. “Oh, I do pumpkin pie!” He smirked as he glanced in the rear view mirror, addressing the hostages. “The ladies have to have their pumpkin spice don’t they boys?” 

“Puddin!” Harley laughed. “Don’t sound so sexist!” 

Joker chuckled and used the bus to sideswipe a car. 

Everyone inside the bus screamed--except Jerry--who George noticed looked to be having the time of his life, his hands gripping the back of the seat in front of him, his expression looking as if he were on the best rollercoaster ever. 

George hissed. “Jerry?” 

Jerry grinned back with excitement. “We just got kidnapped by the Joker!” 

George looked panicked. “We’re gonna die!” 

Jerry grinned with wide eyes. “Maybe!” 

George was beginning to wonder about asking Jerry to marry him. 

* 

Up front, Harley began pointing at buildings (anytime anyone tried to open a window or stand, Bob or Frost would glare or shift their weapon shutting them up and preventing any escape attempts.) 

“Now over here we have the Wayne Tower where Mr. Stuffy Pants Bruce Wayne works, supposedly Gotham’s favorite son and most eligible bachelor, but puddin and I think he’s a giant sourpuss! Isn’t that right puddin?” 

Harley grinned at Joker who nodded. “That he is pumpkin! Bruce Wayne is almost as bad as Batman. Talk about someone who forgot out to smile! Yikes!” 

Harley giggled, moving to lean against the dash next to Joker. “You have a beautiful smile puddin. You should be Gotham’s favorite son.” 

Joker wrinkled his nose, giving Harley a shy smile “Oh, now you’re making me blush pumpkin.” He grinned, sliding his eyes toward her from behind his glasses as he said. “What about the most eligible bachelor part?” 

Harley narrowed her eyes at him. “That’s not funny puddin, you are not eligible and any girls that think you are will get my mallet to her face.” Harley turned a narrow eyed glare at the young women on the bus. “So don’t any of you get any ideas. Mistah J is mine--all mine.” 

No one on the bus replied, but Joker laughed. “Oh I love it when you’re jealous sweets! Makes me feel all warm inside.” 

Harley grinned, her momentary jealousy and anger gone just as quickly as it had arrived. She gave him a coy smile and whispered. “I can make you feel even warmer puddin.” 

She leaned over and rubbed her hand along his thigh. “It’ll make the bus ride more fun…” She purred, giving her breasts a little wiggle as she leaned closer to him. “A lot more fun.” Harley ran the tip of her tongue against the side of his mouth. 

Joker giggled, lifting a brow at her in shock. “Harley, really, in front of the kids!” 

Frost paled, knowing exactly where this was going. “Maybe I should drive Boss.” 

Joker laughed glancing into the large rearview mirror. “Oh, nonsense Frost darling! I can multitask!!” 

Harley giggled catching Joker’s mouth in a warm, deep kiss before dropping down to her knees beside him and began unbuttoning his jacket, followed by her nimble fingers undoing his slacks. 

Joker grinned like it was Christmas morning watching her. “Oh Harley, you are such a bad girl.” 

Harley dragged her teeth over her lips, smiling up at Joker, her eyes smoldered with want. “You like me being bad Mistah J.” 

Joker smirked, followed by a shrug. “That I do Harls, that I do.” 

Joker made a giggled sound of surprise when Harley pulled his erection free with a delighted squeak, followed by her hand moving up and down his length. She didn’t rush; instead she took her time, feeling the hard warmth of his shaft in her hand, her voice soft so only he could hear, her eyes on his erection in her hand. “Mm...yummy.” 

Joker’s eyes glanced from the road down to her with a laugh on his lips. “Yummy?” he asked with clear questioning amusement. 

Harley nodded, her hand continuing its careful caress up and down his length, his pale white member flushed pink with blood, hard, warm, and firm in her grasp yet velvet soft at the same time. 

She licked her lips as she gazed at his manhood. “Yup--yummy.” 

She gave him a smirk before she leaned in and wrapped her lips around his erection. She pressed her lips down slow and gentle on him, taking her time to lower her mouth down fully on him. She kept her one hand wrapped around his length, her other hand tucked under his rear and squeezed. 

Joker yelped in surprise when she squeezed his rear, followed by a groan. He pressed back against the seat to give her room. His hands gripped the steering wheel hard while Harley took a deep suck on his shaft. 

Joker groaned, his hands tightening and then relaxing on the wheel again. “Mmm...that’s nice Harls.” 

Harley responded with a muffled moan and pressed her lips down on him with a firmer hold. She slid her lips down to take all of him into her mouth. Joker groaned again when he felt his erection brush the back of her throat. The warmth of her breath and the wetness of her tongue that Harley slid back and forth against him, had him squirming in his seat. 

Joker took one hand off the wheel to rest against her head as she bobbed, taking her time to suck him deep into her mouth followed by the wet, slick slide of her tongue along him. Harley spent extra time at the sweet spot just behind the head of his erection. Her tongue traced the skin, curving with the head of his erection in a way that send shivers up his spine. Joker responded with deep moans that made Harley smile, encouraging her to suck a harder before she pulled her lips up again. 

* 

George gasped. “Are...is she..?” 

Jerry lifted up a bit to see, his eyes widening. “She is!” 

Frost was standing nearby the two men and hissed. “Shut up and stay in your seats.” 

George and Jerry settled back with George whispering. “I can’t believe this is happening…” 

Jerry grinned. “I can’t believe we got so lucky!” 

“Lucky? What the actual fuck is wrong with you Jerry?” George asked while he struggled to keep his voice low, but it was becoming loud and shrill. 

Frost snarled. “If you two don’t shut it, you’re both going to end up with bullets in your heads.” 

The two men quieted down, but George closed his eyes realizing for the first time that his mother had been right--there was something wrong with Jerry. 

* 

Harley smiled with pleasure when she felt Joker's gloved fingers caress her hair. His fingers glided down to the back of her neck where he caressed her skin. His fingers moved over her neck in a sweet caress. He responded to her attentions with a purr that she felt rumble from deep in his chest before he slid his fingers back into her hair. She swirled her tongue around him, her teeth pressed against him; the caress of her teeth against his sensitive skin was both slow and tender, and her lips stroked against his soft skin as she pulled her mouth up his length. She held him in a firm grip with her hand and focused her tongue’s attention on the head of his erection. Harley swirled her tongue against the velvet soft skin and flicked against him. Harley alternated licking the soft skin of his shaft with pressing her teeth against him, an alternative sensation of her teeth and her tongue that made Joker jerk with pleasure. Her hiss of pleasure was soft against him when she tasted his excitement. 

Joker held onto the steering wheel with one hand, his teeth pressed into his red lips as he struggled between looking down at Harley’s head in his lap, her mouth firmly around his shaft, and the road ahead of him. Harley pulled on his erection with her mouth, sucking in a way that had him seeing stars. His leg jerked and his foot hit the gas, making the bus leap forward. 

“Uh...Harley…” Joker moaned, his hips thrust up at the same time he sideswiped another car. 

The sound of the metal scraping against metal made the passengers gasp and cry out in fear, though Joker laughed at their reactions and at the damage that a bus could do. Joker’s laughter turned into a grunt as Harley made a particularly delightful suck followed by her teeth again…he was so close... 

Harley pulled away and sat back on her knees. 

Joker gasped when she pulled away. He turned his gaze on her and gave her a pout. “Harley!” 

She giggled and stood up. Joker watched her from the corner of his eye as she reached up under her skirt and pulled a pair of red lace panties down her legs. His smile widened as Harley kicked the panties away. 

“Think you can stay on the road puddin?” Harley asked, her voice seductive. 

Joker waggled his eyebrows at her. “Let’s find out!” He patted his leg. “Come to Daddy.” 

Harley squealed and climbed onto his lap. Joker held the wheel with both hands as Harley adjusted herself, finding the right place for her legs, until she found the right position to slide down on him. 

When their bodies came together, both clowns groaned as one. 

Harley grabbed his shoulders and pressed herself down on him, feeling that pleasure of his erection as he pushed past her natural barriers, that warm, hard deliciousness of having him inside her. She arched her back and her fingers dug into his shoulders as she began a slow grind against him. 

Joker groaned, his grip on the steering wheel was almost painful. His eyes fluttered behind his glasses as he whispered. “Harley girl…” 

Harley smiled, her eyes heavy with passion. She kneaded his shoulders while she made slow, steady grinding motions atop Joker. One leg was up, pressed against the wall between the driver’s window and the seat, her other foot pressed against the floor of the bus. She kept her movements slow and deliberate. He felt so good inside her that she forgot about their hostages, about Frost’s embarrassment, or the bus itself and the fact that they were rolling through Gotham’s busy streets. All her thoughts were on Joker, on how he felt, how he smelled, how much she loved him. She dipped her head down and stole a quick kiss before she wrapped her arms around him, tucked her face against his throat while she kept a firm rhythm with him. Her body tightened around him, her climax building. 

Joker leaned into Harley when she wrapped her arms around him and his red lips brushed against her ear with a whispered. “My girl.” Harley shuddered, especially when Joker let go of the wheel with one hand to wrap his arm around her, holding her to him. His fingers were tight against her waist, almost painful, but that made his grip on her more thrilling and intensified her desire for him. 

Harley ran her fingers up into his hair. She always loved the way his hair felt in her hands, so thick and soft. Harley purred and brushed her lips against his forehead while her hips moved to a quickening rhythm as her passion built with each motion of her hips. She groaned, her nose buried in his hair as she gripped his green hair with one hand and removed his cap with the other. She dropped the hat to the floor and leaned over to tug his head back by his hair. She kissed the side of his red lips, then caressed his cheek with her lips before she brushed her lips over his ear, her breath hot against his pale skin. 

“I love you,” she hissed so only he could hear her words. 

Joker groaned as he held her tighter still when she whispered her love to him. He needed her body pressed against his, her soft breasts pressed against his body. He tried to keep his attention divided between the road and her, but he had difficulty when he felt her tense, felt that building wetness as she grew closer to climax. Joker’s breath became ragged, he pulled her closer still, his lips against her throat when he whispered back. “Love you too pumpkin.” 

Harley arched into him when she came with a cry, that she buried against his throat. 

Joker grunted as he felt the sudden wash of wetness along with her grip on him intensifying when his Harley came. He bit his lips and his eyes fluttered behind his glasses as he felt that rush of pressure followed by an explosion of sensation that made him want to cry out. His grip on both Harley and the steering wheel tightened. He swung the wheel to the side and slammed on the breaks. Everyone inside the bus unwittingly screamed as the bus barreled toward the fence at nearly the same time that Joker and Harley orgasmed. As it was the front of the bus bumped against the fence with a discernible, but faint tap. 

Frost grabbed the top of the bus, while Bob laughed without a sound. 

* 

Joker put the bus in park and held on to Harley with a firm grip. He wrapped both arms around her and buried his face against her breasts. Harley held him. Her fingers were gentle as they caressed his hair and her nails skimmed along his scalp. Joker took several deep breaths to gather himself before he raised his head to look at Harley. 

“Now that made this bus ride much more fun. You were correct--much more fun.” Joker purred, his lips brushed her mouth before he released her. “It’s time for our little party Harls.” 

Harley giggled. “Yes sir, Mistah J.” 

She rose up and both of them shared a groan as their bodies separated. She moved with speed, hopped off his lap and retrieved her panties, which she putted back on in a matter of seconds before she ran her hands over her skirts and smiled. 

“Ready Mistah J.” 

Joker chuckled while he put himself away, zipped his slacks, and bent over to retrieve his hat at the same time that he stood and turned to their guests for the day. He ran his fingers through his green hair, brushed the thick locks back, and once more placed his hat on his head. 

“All right darlings, we’re here! Let the festivities begin! Everyone out!” 

Joker turned and opened the bus doors. Harley giggled as she grabbed her mallet and turned to head down the steps, Joker reached out and gave her rear a pinch under her dress, made Harley squeal and giggle as she made her way out of the bus. Joker grinned as he hopped down the steps after her. 

Bob and Frost began to herd the tourists off the bus, Frost with a frown, Bob with a bright, cheerful smile. 

One everyone was off the bus and lined up against its side, Joker threw his hand out toward the chain link fence. Joker and Harley stood in the middle near the gates while Frost and Bob stood on either side. It was only now that they were off the bus that everyone saw the other people, men and women--only a handful--but they were all dressed as clowns and rabbits with creepy rubber masks over their faces and wearing bright costumes (though all the rabbits had full rabbit suits on.) The costumed, masked people were all armed with a variety of weapons, from guns to baseball bats, and one large rabbit held a machete. George glanced at Jerry, but Jerry was all smiles; the man was clearly having the time of his life. George cringed, biting his bottom lip and telling himself if they lived through this, he and Jerry were over. 

“This, my friends, is our Easter surprise…” Joker’s smile spread across his face. 

George looked on with a frown. Behind the Joker was an abandoned factory. It was a large lot and consisted of several large buildings along with smaller warehouses, large metal tubes and piping, broken concrete and asphalt. George could see a couple of abandoned trucks and nuerous rusted barrels scattered around. The place was overgrown with weeds and grass breaking through the concrete while a couple of trees had found root and grown. One of the warehouses had almost disappeared under the heavy growth of vines. 

Joker continued. “Our first stop will be the building right over there…” 

Joker pointed to one of the warehouses where bright green and purple paint had been used to spray paint “HaHa!” and “Why so Serious!?” across the crumbling brick walls. 

One of the young college men, one of the types that George would have hated in high school--a typical jock, with the blonde hair, blue eyes, good looks that probably opened every door for him and a body that was, well George had to admit was nice--stepped forward. The kid was wearing long bright orange shorts and what he remembered his mother calling a “wife beater” shirt, a sleeveless white t-shirt and trainers. He looked as if he would be more comfortable on a beach instead of in Gotham. 

“Hey, I don’t know who you think you are man, but this is bullshit! My friends and I are here on spring break and we…” As the blonde young man began to talk, his hands balled into fists like he was about to try to take a swing at Joker. 

Joker smiled and put his hand up, stopping the young man. “Sir, all complaints must be taken up with the complaint department. Harley…” 

Harley grinned. “Yes, Mistah J?” 

“It seems we have a complaint my dear, would you see to mister…” Joker frowned and glanced over at the young man. “Name sir?” 

The young man looked confused as he replied. “Mark.” 

“A Mr. Mark has a complaint to log with the management. Would you mind taking care of it, my sweet?” Joker smiled at Harley while he took off his hat and tossed it to Bob who caught it without looking. 

“Sure thing Mistah J.” Harley smiled and turned her attention to Mark. “All right bub, what’s your complaint?” 

Mark frowned. His gaze darted from his friends to Harley as if he wasn’t sure what he should do. George was praying the kid would shut up, but Mark looked too dumb to realize his mistake as he opened his mouth. “I was saying that my friends and I are on spring break and...ah…” He looked to his friends for support once more, but the group just stared back at Mark as if they had no idea who he was. 

Mark soldiered on. “We ah...we don’t want to go to your party?” He finished, having not thought out what he was going to do after speaking up. 

Harley nodded. “I see. So you aren’t interested in the great surprise that Mistah J has planned for you...I get it.” 

Mark’s smile was small and weak and he didn’t react in time as Harley grabbed up her mallet and swung it over her head with a strength that was surprising for her slender figure. The mallet connected with the top of Mark’s head, crushing both his skull and his neck with an audible crunching sound. The dead man fell, crumpling to the ground, folded like an accordian. 

The tourists screamed and one person retched. A few began to cry. 

Joker laughed, clapping his hands. “Harley, I love the way you run the complaint department!” 

Harley giggled and curstised putting her forefinger against her chin. “Why thank you Mistah J, I aim to please.” 

Joker chuckled, draped an arm around her and pulled her up against him. “You always please me pumpkin.” They kissed, with Joker dipping her back. One hand reached to cradle her head while his tongue lavished against her tongue. Harley made a soft, pleased moan as she wrapped her free arm around his shoulders; her bloody mallet in her other hand rested against the asphalt. For a long few seconds, it didn’t seem like Joker or Harley were going to stop kissing, but just as everyone started to become restless, Joker set Harley back on her feet with a happy grin. 

He turned to their guests. “ Now, to the face painting and egg coloring!!” 

Joker spun around with Harley, who giggled in delight. She hefted her mallet onto her shoulder as Joker threw open the gates. The crowd from the bus was herded inside where the assorted clowns and bunnies surrounded them. Frost and Bob brought up the rear as everyone headed inside the warehouse that Joker had indicated earlier would be the start of the festivities. 

* 

The inside of the warehouse was decorated in pastel Easter colors, with streamers of pale pink, purple and soft yellow hanging from the ceiling of the warehouse, along with a vast assortment of plastic eggs and fluffy plush bunnies and chicks that were all hanging from the ceiling by colorful nooses. There was a long table covered with a bright blue tablecloth on which were paint supplies, eggs and color dips for the eggs as well as bowls and bowls filled to the rim with chocolate eggs, marshmallow peeps, and an assortment of colorful candies. Metal folding chairs lined the table on both sides. 

At one seat sat a very short, depressed looking clown. 

Archie looked up from where he sat at the table eating chocolate eggs. He looked up when everyone entered and nodded. "Hey Boss." 

Joker nodded at Archie as he pulled off his glasses and his chauffeur's coat as they walked into the warehouse, tossing the coat carelessly aside. Bob moved surprisingly quick to grab the jacket before it hit the floor, and neatly folded the coat over his arm. Underneath the coat, Joker revealed that he was wearing a bright green shirt with yellow suspenders, a black tuxedo jacket with a large, bright orange flower on the lapel, and twin gun holsters under his arms, each holding a pistol. He didn’t wear a tie; rather, his shirt was unbuttoned to show off a small expanse of his white throat and chest. 

Joker grinned stretching his arms over his head. “Harley, cigarette please.” 

Harley nodded with a grin. “Of course Mistah J.” 

Harley walked over and leaned her bloody mallet against the table before she dived into her cleavage, from which she pulled out a small, slender silver case along with a slender gold plated lighter that had the letter “J” engraved in purple on it. The group watched while she opened the case and put a cigarette in her mouth before she slid the case back down between her breasts. She flipped the lighter and took a couple of puffs on the cigarette before she smiled and placed it between Joker’s red lips, depositing the lighter down her cleavage once more. 

He gave her a smile at the same time he reached out and wrapped his arm around her waist to pull her snug against his side. Harley giggled and laid her hand along the opening of his shirt, caressing his bareskin with a glint of hunger in her eyes while Joker took a deep drag on the cigarette. Everyone watched in silence, waiting to see what the clown would do next; no one wanted to make the mistakes that Ryan and Mark had. 

Joker let the smoke drift from between his lips. “Now, everyone line up here for your face painting! Everyone gets to be painted up as rabbits by our talented Mr. Frost!” 

When no one did anything, Joker frowned. “Rude! Applause for Mr. Frost’s painting skills please.” 

The group clapped with a decided lack of enthusiasm. Joker narrowed his eyes and continued. “After which everyone will get a chance to color eggs and eat some candy. Now, everyone who lives through that…” 

There was a wave of gasping and some crying from the tourists. 

Joker groaned. “Oh please grow up, you all have a 50/50 chance of living! Those are really good odds! Aren’t they Harls?” 

Harley nodded. “Yes they are puddin. These people are from out of town though so I guess they just don’t realize how good they got it puddin.” Harley turned toward them and smacked the back of her fingers against her palm. “This is Gotham people, those are really good odds! You are so lucky that Mistah J is feeling generous!” 

Joker blew smoke from his nostrils in frustration. “I suppose I could be forgiving. I mean, them being out of towners and all…anyway, once all the party festivities are complete it’ll be time for the egg hunt!! But here will be the best part: not only does every egg have a surprise in it, but you my little bunnies, will be hunted too by my group of henchmen!” 

Joker let go of Harley to throw his arm out to the clowns and bunnies that were his disguised gang, but Harley cleared her throat. “Puddin...what did we talk about?” 

Joker sighed and dropped his arms. “But Harley--it sounds stupid.” 

“Puddin.” Harley’s tone was threatening. 

Joker sighed dramatically. “Fine, henchpeople. Better?” 

Harley beamed at him and gave him a kiss on the cheek. “Better.” 

Joker smiled at her and kissed the tip of her nose before he turned and yelled. “All right! Everyone in line--let’s get that bunny paint on!” 

The tourists were forced to line up while Frost took a seat next to the paints at the end of the table. He frowned and glanced over at Joker. 

“Boss, this is going to take forever with this many people. Maybe Bob could help?” 

Joker grinned. “Of course darling. Would you like that Bob?” 

Bob nodded with enthusiasm, his bunny ears flopping back and forth. 

Joker chuckled. “All right my dear, why don’t you set up over here next to Frost.” 

Bob hurried over to grab a chair and set himself up near the paints while a couple of the other hench people, one dressed as a clown, the other as a bunny, came over to make sure everyone behaved. 

Joker and Harley came to stand behind Bob and Frost to watch the painting process while Archie continued to eat chocolate. 

Joker laughed after taking a drag on his cigarette. “I should warn you all, some of the paint--though I don’t remember which ones…” He grinned while smoke drifted from between his lips. “...might be laced with a little bit of my--patent pending, mind you--Joker venom...though it might not too. You know…” He tapped his chin. “I’m not really sure.” 

Harley giggled, pushing herself up onto the table to sit by Frost. “Oh, this is going to be like doing a crank on a jack-in-the-box puddin!” 

Joker chortled. “You’re absolutely right pumpkin!” 

He hurried over and pulled a chair up in front of Harley so he could sit between her legs, put his cigarette out on the table (burning a hole in the tablecloth) before he casually draped his arms over her legs. Joker slid his hands along her thighs until they disappeared under her skirt. He scooped his hands under her rear and gave a gentle, yet firm squeeze. Harley giggled and wiggled her rear against his hands and made Joker grin with a broad show of teeth. 

“Let’s see what happens!” he said with a twinkle in his eyes biting his bottom lip and wiggling his green eyebrows up and down. 

* 

For the first ten people, nothing happened. Frost and Bob painted differing rabbit faces on each of the tourists. George was shaking when it was his turn, with Bob giving him a cheery smile while Jerry sat down for Frost. He still looked as if he enjoyed this whole experience, the idiot, George thought while Bob painted buck teeth over his top lip, but nothing happened. 

It wasn’t until one of the young ladies from the bus took George’s seat after he stood and moved to stand with Jerry and the rest of the already painted “rabbits” that something happened. The young woman started to giggle when her face paint was half applied. It began slow and she kept putting her hands over her mouth nervously while Bob painted designs on her forehead. Next, her eyes began to bug a little, as if she were widening them in shock followed by her giggles turning into full on laughs. 

Joker yanked his hands out from under Harley’s skirt and clapped his hands. “We got one!” 

Harley squealed, hopping in place on the table, her behind causing the decorations and bowls of chocolate to bounce. 

“Oh, oh, here we go!” She clapped her hands along with Joker both looked on with excitement. 

The woman began to shake with laughter, so much so that Bob couldn’t continue to do his face painting. Bob sat back with an annoyed pout on his face. 

The young woman’s mouth began to stretch painfully across her face, her teeth locking together into a rictus grin. She pushed herself up from her seat and stumbled back, the crowd of tourists all gasping and rushing to get out of her way. The young woman’s skin turned pasty and pale, while blood began to leak from her eyes and mouth. She twisted around, her laughter echoing off the walls until her feet slipped out from under her and she crashed to the floor. Her body thrashed about as she continued to laugh and laugh until the young woman stopped. Her laughter turned into a choked bubbling sound as her throat closed off. 

The sudden silence was just as frightening as the woman’s outburst of laughter hand been, but the silence was broken when Joker and Harley began to laugh. 

“Oh my cotton socks, that was fantastic!” Joker slapped Harley’s thighs looking at her with delight. “Did you see that pumpkin? Wasn’t that perfectly hilarious!” 

Harley giggled and lifted her shoulders in delight. “It was puddin! It was!” 

Archie muttered. "Lucky bastard." 

Joker stopped laughing, though he continued to giggle in little fits like a child. He struggled to stifle his giggles when he stood and frowned at everyone. “Hey, where’s the laughter, people? That was funny!” 

The hench people began to laugh, the tourists struggled, their laughter fake and forced. Frost just shrugged and continued painting while Bob laughed in his quiet way, the smile and his shoulders jumping the only indication that the big man was laughing. 

The person in line behind the young woman was one of Mark’s friends who took a step back when it was his turn to sit down in front of Bob to have his face painted. The young man shook his head emphatically. “Oh no! That’s not happening to me!” 

He turned and ran for the door. 

Joker frowned in confusion. His arms dropped to his sides as he watched the young man race across the room toward the door. “Where does he think he’s going?” 

“Don’t know puddin. Maybe he thinks he can run?” Harley frowned, watching the man as Joker stood and pulled one of his guns from his shoulder holsters. He didn’t take time to aim before Joker shot the man in the back just as the tourist approached the door. The man stumbled, his body slamming into the door before he fell to the ground. 

Everyone could hear him groaning in pain. 

Joker sighed and his shoulders slumped. He dropped his gun hand down and the look on his face was one of disbelief. “Well shit, I missed his heart.” 

Harley reached up to pat her puddin’s cheek. “It’s all right puddin. Want me to go finish him off?” 

Joker reholstered his gun, and he gave Harley a soft smile. “You are so sweet my pumpkin. I would appreciate it.” 

Joker caught her face in both hands and kissed her. It became a deep kiss that prompted Harley to reach up and wrap her hands around his forearms, lifting herself a little ways off the table, kissing him back in ernest while the man Joker shot groaned in pain by the warehouse door. 

Joker let Harley go with a brush of his nose against hers. “Okay sweets, go get him.” 

He stepped back, letting her hop off the table and gave her rear a playful smack as she went past him. Harley squealed and jumped giggling as she grabbed her mallet and went over to the groaning man. 

Joker clapped his hands. “All right, let’s finish up with the face painting shall we? Got some eggs to color people, chop chop!” 

Everyone had turned away from Harley and her victim, though the sounds of Harley’s mallet hitting the cement floor and the man’s cries suddenly cut off sent shivers through all the tourists. 

George wanted to cry, but he took a breath and held the tears back, keeping himself as calm as he could. He had to believe that he would get out of this. 

* 

Four more people died getting their faces painted before the survivors were ushered over to the long table where the egg decorating supplies were set out for them. Each set had a set of four bowls that contained liquid color--pink, blue, purple and yellow--and a small bowl of white, boiled eggs. 

Harley came skipping over. Her mallet looked messier and bloodier than it had earlier as she propped it against the table before skipping over to Joker. Joker chuckled, wrapping his arm around her shoulders as his blue eyed gaze washed over their audience. 

“All right my Easter rabbits, before you are bowls of white eggs and bowls of color. Now, I’m not sure which is which, but some of the eggs are surprise eggs and some of the color is surprise color…” Joker and Harley paced along behind some of the tourists. “I have no idea which!” He chuckled. “Isn’t that funny!” 

One or two of the men and women were sobbing while the rest looked to be in shock. 

One of the older men in the group that George had picked out earlier as being probably some retired cop or something, spoke up. “Why are you doing this, you sick bunch of fucking clowns!” 

Joker stopped and laughed. “I thought we answered this question? Harley, didn’t we answer this question?” 

Harley nodded. “We did puddin.” 

The man snarled. “I don’t care if you kill me! If you’re gonna kill me, just kill me! But stop with these sick games!” 

Joker gasped, the sound high pitched and very dramatic. “You sir, do not have a flair for comedy!” 

The man started to respond, but Harley snarled. “You insult my puddin and his games one more time mister, I’m going to stick my mallet so far up your ass you’re gonna choke on it.” 

The man looked pale, but Joker squealed putting his hands across his heart, his expression pleased. “Harley!! Look at you defending my honor!” 

Harley blushed and bit her bottom lip. “Anything for you puddin.” 

Joker grinned and grabbed her by her waist, lifting Harley off her feet as he carried her a short distance from the table to the wall were he shoved her up against the flat surface, the entire time he stared into her eyes, a look of pure lust in his blue gaze. Everyone watched, the captured tourists unsure what was about to happen. The costumed hench people were accustomed to seeing what was about to happen, while Bob simply smiled and Frost turned to look the other way as Joker pinned Harley with his body. He captured her mouth with his, his kisses hard, passionate, his tongue thrust deep into her mouth. Joker’s hands slid down her hips, his fingers flattening the sides of her skirt as he pushed against her, grinding his pelvis against hers while he hungrily attacked her mouth. 

Harley groaned and wrapped her arms around Joker’s shoulders at the same time she pulled him toward her, her kisses just as hungry as his. She lifted a leg to wrap around him, pulled him closer still. She always needed to feel his body up against hers, to feel the grind of his pelvis, the hard mound of his erection, always ready for her, always wanting her. She smiled against his red lips, and one hand went into his thick green hair to wrap her fingers around a handful of hair, holding his mouth to her. 

Joker growled as his lips moved from her mouth, brushed his lips against her skin, and felt the tender touch of her skin against his lips while he traced the line of her jaw. He licked, dragging his tongue along her jaw to her throat. He pressed hard against her, could feel her pulse against his tongue and bit down on her throat. 

Harley gasped, her head pressed back against the wall when she felt the sharp pain of his bite that only turned her on more. Her nipples were hard, and every sensation, the press of his chest, the brush of the cloth against them made her writhe under Joker’s touch. She always needed him, wanted him, but moments like this made her feel that if Joker didn’t take her soon she might combust. She giggled at the thought as she cradled his head against her throat. 

Joker snaked down to her exposed cleavage, needing to feel the soft swell of her breasts against his lips, wanting to lick every inch of her, to claim her as his, his girl, his harlequin, his partner. Joker’s tongue delved between her breasts, his nose pressed against her skin taking in the soft, sweet scent of her that made his groin tighten with need. He continued to hold her pressed against the wall, biting down on the swell of one breast. He loved it when Harley squirmed under him, like she was doing now, her little breathy gasps and whines drove him, made him want to take her hard and fast, but at the same time he wanted to draw out the agony of waiting... 

* 

Frost frowned watching them for a few seconds before he sighed, deciding they might be at it for a while. He glanced at Archie who was still intently eating chocolate eggs before he turned to the hostages. 

“Boss wants you to color eggs. So get to coloring people.” He motioned at them with his weapon. 

The hostages exchanged glances with one another. No one said anything as they slowly picked up eggs and submerged them in the colors. When nothing happened after the first dozen or so eggs, the group continued to color with less tripadation. 

* 

Joker pulled away from Harley and spun her around, pinning her against the wall again before lifting her skirts. He reached under her layers of frills to pull her panties aside. Harley gasped and pressed her hands against the wall at the same time she arched her back and pressed her rear against the mound of his erection, weaving her backside to rub against him as a mischievous smile played across her lips. 

Joker growled again and reached around with one hand to undo the button that pinned the collar of her dress at her throat so he could pull her dress aside, exposing her shoulder. He pulled hard at the dress, tore a small rip in the fabric. Joker smiled and brushed his lips against her bare skin, sending shivers racing across her skin while raised goosebumps danced across her flesh. 

Joker licked his lips and tickled her skin with the edges of his perfect teeth. 

He stopped only to begin removing his glove and made sure Harley watched as he pulled his glove off with his teeth, dropping the glove, which Harley caught. Joker purred against her skin, his lips and nose brushed against her smooth shoulder while at the same time he dropped his now glove free hand down under her skirt where he was still holding her panties aside. He caressed her rear with his bare hand. He nipped at her ear, caressing her backside, enjoying the feel of her firm asscheek in his hand, squeezing. He moved his hand over and brushed against her exposed sex, his fingers questing between her wet, hot folds until his fingers found what they sought. When he felt her wet opening, Joker slid his fingers into her at the same time using his body to press her harder against the wall. 

Harley cried out, her fingernails scraped against the wall as Joker slid his fingers into her, aggressive yet careful. He pressed kisses against her shoulder, neck, and back before hissing against her ear. 

“You like that Harls?” Joker licked her neck and ear, the flat of his tongue stroked along her shoulder as his fingers thrust into her. 

Harley mewled, arching back into his thrusting fingers. “Oh puddin! Yes…” 

Joker grinned thrusting with his fingers a few more times before he pulled his fingers out and pulled his slacks open with one hand, freeing himself to thrust his erection into her, burying himself deep, pressing Harley between the wall and his body. His hands dropped to grip her hips hard enough she knew she would have welcome bruises. He groaned as he pressed his cheek against her hair. 

Harley gasped and her eyes rolled closed as she dropped her hands to reach back and grab Joker’s hips, pulling him against her. She tightened around him, holding him deep inside her. 

Joker kissed her ear, his warm breath tickled her hair. “My pumpkin…” 

Harley purred in return. “Puddin…” 

He smiled, adjusting his grip on her hips. Harley rose up on her toes, once more bringing her hands up to press against the wall while he thrust into her… 

Harley cried out, her back arching sinuously when she climaxed. Joker hissed, his grip on her tight, thrusting hard into her with quick, powerful thrusts when his own orgasm rippled through him. He laughed with pleasure at the same time he wrapped his arms around her waist holding her close against him. 

* 

Frost yawned watching the hostages dipping the eggs. Nothing weird had happened yet. He was beginning to think the egg coloring might have been a fake out. He glanced over at the Boss and Harley who kissed and nibbled at each other. Joker still had Harley pressed up against the wall, but the fucking seemed to be over for now. Frost blushed and turned back to the hostages. The group continued to work on eggs when one of the hostages, the older man who had started insulting Joker’s humor, gasped, shoving his chair back from the table. 

“That dye is bubbling!!” 

The bowl holding the purple dye had indeed begun to bubble viciously; the bubbles that had started out tiny were now large, popping loud enough everyone here could hear it, and tiny droplets spilled over the edge of the bowl to burn through the table cloth. 

The man started to stand up, but before he could move far enough away, the bowl of dye exploded. Acid flew in large purple droplets, splashing over the man who began to scream, his screams turning into shrieks of agony in the next second as his face and chest began to melt. A woman on the left of him was splashed with the colorful purple acid, and her screams joined the melting man’s screams. On the burning man’s right side, a young man was also hit. The trio of them screamed as the acid quickly ate through their skin, bone and clothing, as well as the table, their chairs, and into the floor. 

The rest of the hostages screamed in fear and horror and pushed back from the table. Archie sighed watching the people dying with a disappointed shrug. 

Joker pulled his slacks up, turning around with a laugh. 

“Harley!! We almost missed it!!” He pointed at the three victims grabbing his side as he continued to laugh. “Surprise!!” 

Harley turned to watch with a giggle, handing Joker back his glove. “I was beginning to wonder if you had any surprises in the dye puddin!” 

Joker wrapped his arm around her shoulders. “Oh course I did Harley! Did you doubt me?” 

Harley giggled. “Never puddin!” 

Joker wiped at his eyes; tears of laughter glistened on his lashes as the three people stopped screaming, their bodies lying on the floor to dissolve into puddles. “This has got to be the best Easter yet!” He walked over with Harley, motioning with his other hand. “Okay people, everyone grab some chocolate and let’s get the hunt started before I get bored and just shoot everyone!” 

Harley hopped past him to go after her mallet with Joker smacking her on the rear as she skipped by. Harley squealed and laughed. 

“Everyone follow me!!” She danced, spun around, her fluffy skirt bouncing around her. She grabbed her mallet as she danced past it, heading toward the door. Joker watched her with a grin. 

The hostages stood and Joker’s people herding them toward the door. 

Joker followed Harley while slipping his glove back on. Harley stopped to open the door for him, giving him a smile and a little bow. He laughed and grabbed her, pulling her up against his side, their hostages trailing and crying behind them. (He didn’t notice that at least another five people died inside warehouse as well as two of Joker’s own people who had also been dumb enough to grab some of the chocolate, even though he had given instructions that they were not to touch it, before reaching the door, the fast acting poisoned chocolate killing them.) 

When they all arrived outside it was dark, the sun having set during the time they had spent in the warehouse. Joker stopped and turned, his arm once more going around Harley’s shoulders. 

“All righty…” He frowned and did a quick head count before he chuckled. “Oh, well I guess a couple of you found the poisoned chocolate. Lucky you. I had been planning on putting that chocolate out for the Gotham masses for Easter, but I just hadn’t perfected the poison yet to act as quickly as I wanted, so…” He shrugged with a disappointed frown. “Though I would have liked to ask our dead friends how the chocolate tasted before they expired. Making chocolate with poison is delicate work. I was up during the day working on it and I hate the daylight!!” 

Harley nodded with a grim expression. “He was--didn’t have time to play or anything.” 

Joker frowned at Harley. “I’m sorry Harls.” 

He reached over and pinched her cheek. “You are so patient with me my sweet little murder kitten.” 

Harley giggled while Joker returned his attention to his hostages and continued. “I worked day and night on that and I didn’t even get to find out if the chocolate was any good” He sighed dramatically “Oh well, such is the life of an artist!” 

A few seconds later Archie walked out of the warehouse with an annoyed look on his face. 

Joker gasped. "Archie! Darling! I forgot! You were eating the chocolate, how was it?" 

Archie grumbled. "Except for the fact I never found any of the poison ones...not bad Boss." Archie muttered. "Those lucky bastards ate all the poisoned chocolate." 

Joker’s smile returned, showing off his perfect white teeth. “Well, it's nice to know they tasted good at least." He chuckled. "Now, time for our egg hunt!!” 

He turned around and motioned toward the large fenced in abandoned factory area. The place occupied several blocks and was filled with old rusted and crumbling buildings, brick and metal warehouses and a great deal of abandoned equipment. There were no bright lights, only what looked to be a few strings of lights here and there. 

Joker grinned at the complex as he spoke. “There are eggs hidden everywhere in here.” He turned back around to face the small group. “You’ll all be given flashlights.” (One of the bunny henchpersons began to pass out small flashlights. Joker pulled a small one from his front pocket and handed it to Harley who clicked it on and off.) “I don’t want to make this too hard, you know.” 

He laughed. “Now, every egg has a surprise in it, but I won’t tell you what those surprises are...I mean that would ruin the surprise wouldn’t it?” He glanced sideways at Harley. “And I hate to ruin surprises don’t I pumpkin?” 

Harley nodded her agreement. “You do puddin. You love surprises.” 

Joker giggled. “I do!” He focused his attention back on his captives. “On top of that my clowns and bunnies will be hunting you. If they catch you, it’s…” he brought his gloved finger across his throat. 

The hostages whimpered. 

Joker smiled with glee. “Now, if any of you manage to live for say the next…” He tapped his chin. “Two hours, Harley and I will let you leave. So--good luck!” Joker laughed before he glanced at Harley. 

“Harley, would you mind my sweet?” Joker asked with a batting of his eyelashes. 

Harley giggled hopping up in front of him and put her arms up in the air. “Let the games begin!! Run Rabbits! Run!!” she cried out and brought her arms down like she would if she had been at a drag race. 

No one moved. 

Joker scowled. “Well, go…” He made a shooing motion with his hands and rolled his eyes. “Now.” 

The hostages exchanged looks with one another before they took off. A few seconds later Joker murmured. “Go get ‘em.” 

The clowns and bunnies took off after the hostages with hoots of laughter. 

Joker smiled and sighed, content. “I love to see them so happy Harls.” 

Harley giggled. “Yeah, it's good to give the hench people a day to let off steam.” 

Joker nodded. “Yes, yes it is.” 

He chuckled taking Harley’s hand, the two of them heading out to do some hunting together. “So, want to take a bet on anyone getting out alive?” 

Harley wrinkled her nose. “I don’t think that’s a good bet puddin.” 

Joker laughed. “You’re probably right sweets.” 

* 

George and Jerry took off together. George glanced at Jerry who was pale, his eyes opened too wide, his lips pressed into a thin line. George smiled for a moment, thinking that their situation had finally sunk in for Jerry. While the Joker might be interesting on paper, the man was in fact a murderous lunatic clown. Maybe that had finally shaken some sense into Jerry… 

Jerry hissed. “If we live, you think he might let us join his gang?” 

George stopped in his tracks. “Jerry! What the fuck is wrong with you?” 

Jerry stopped and frowned at his boyfriend. “What’re you talking about?” 

“Joining the Joker? What is wrong with you? I mean...shit, I knew you liked Gotham--that’s why I planned this trip--but joining the Joker?” George’s hands flopped about in disbelief. “I just...I don’t know who you are Jerry!” 

Jerry’s eyebrows lowered and and he scrunched up his eyes in confusion. “I don’t understand what you are getting so upset about.” 

George glared at Jerry. “If we get out of this, you and I are having a serious discussion about our relationship.” 

Jerry opened his mouth to respond when they all heard the first explosion. The two men turned to see a sizable flash of light, heard a couple of screams, and then nothing. 

George hissed. “Fuck.” 

* 

Harley giggled. “Oh, someone found an egg!!” 

Joker snickered. “I think there are a handful of explosive ones and maybe some gas...you know I don’t really remember….” 

That was the moment wild hysterical laughing began to echo through the area. It was eerie the sound of multiple people laughing that seemed to multiply with the echoes. 

Harley tilted her head. “Did you tell any of the hench people about the eggs?” 

Joker shrugged. “Nope.” 

Harley frowned then giggled with a shrug. “Oh well, guess we might have to have some interviews after this.” 

Joker laughed. “And that is why I don’t offer dental! No one ever lives long enough!” 

The two of them laughed as they entered one of the large factory buildings. Harley clicked on her flashlight as they entered. The bottom floor interior of the factory was a large open space. There were small windows at the very top that let in dim, ambient light. There were concrete pillars throughout the room that cast long shadows. Every surface was covered in graffiti, there were large black and grey tarps that covered large objects, maybe machinery or crates (it was hard to tell.) 

The two clowns walked quietly into the room. Their steps were slow as they both looked around, Harley moved her small beam of light around the room looking for shadows that didn’t belong. 

Joker started singing, his voice a creepy whisper at the same time unholstering his weapons. Harley turned to grin at him, holding the flashlight under her chin, both of them singing just loud enough that the building could pick up their voices and bounced them eerily around the large room. 

“Little bunny Foo Foo 

Hopping through the forest 

Scooping up the field mice 

And boppin' 'em on the head!” 

That was the moment they both saw a shadow dash across the room. 

Harley squealed. “There’s a rabbit puddin!!” 

Joker snickered, closing one eye as he aimed his left gun. He shot, hit the young running man in the knee. The man screamed and fell to hit the concrete floor hard; he rolled and whimpered. 

Joker snickered. “Harley, time to go bop the rabbit on the head my dear.” 

Harley gave Joker a saucy wink. “You got it puddin!” 

Joker watched Harley skip toward the whimpering young man with a smile. “I love Easter,” he said with a happy sigh. 

* 

George and Jerry were forced to keep moving, never able to stop for more than a few seconds. They found a handful of eggs and while George didn’t want to pick them up, Jerry insisted because it was part of the game, but luck seemed to be with them, none of the eggs that Jerry gathered were explosive, or gas grenades or anything else harmful. (Though George refused to try any of the chocolate they found in some of them.) The time seemed to stretch forever; two hours turned into an eternity of hiding, finding and hiding again interspersed with the sounds of explosions, flashes of bright light, fires, screaming, laughing and gunshots. And they found dead bodies in various states of violent endings, fellow tourists, although a few of Joker’s people were among the dead. It was a nightmare like George had never imagined until a loud horn sounded. 

The horn went off in a series of three quick blasts followed by the Joker’s voice over a loudspeaker. 

“Okay, whoever is still alive, come back to the front gate for your reward!! If you don’t and I find out you’re alive, well then I will be forced to shoot you. You have to play by the rules...at least for the next ten minutes, then it’s every Easter bunny for themselves!” This was followed by ringing laughter. 

George looked pale. “Jerry, we can…” 

But Jerry grabbed George with his one free hand. “Come on!” 

And began to drag his boyfriend from their hiding place, heading toward the gate from which they had entered this nightmare. 

When George and Jerry arrived at the gate, Joker, Harley, Frost and Bob were there with only a handful of hench people. Those that were there looked worse for wear, their costumes covered in black soot, some still smoking and a few were giggling uncontrollably, except for Archie, looking annoyed and depressed, his arms full of eggs, clearly he had found only the good eggs, not one explosive egg or one laced with Joker gas. The poor clown looked completely defeated. 

Joker threw his arms out when he saw George and Jerry. 

“Well lookie here Harls!! We have two survivors!!!” 

Harley squealed happily and clapped her hands. “Oh fantastic!! I didn't think we were going to have any!” 

Harley raced up to them grabbing a free hand and pulled them along with her. She brought them up to stand in front of Joker who smiled brightly. 

“Well, well, and what’re your names?” 

“I’m Jerry and this is my boyfriend George,” Jerry said with an excited smile. “Can I just say Mr. Joker, I was so excited when you kidnapped us! I’ve always been a big fan…” 

“WHAT?” George turned on Jerry. He had had enough. This entire night had been a night of pure terror, never knowing if or when he was going to die and the one person he should have been able to depend on was having fun! “A fan?! Of the Joker? I thought you just liked the city or Batman or...I don’t know...but the Joker?” 

Jerry frowned. “I told you I liked serial killers.” 

“You said you liked documentaries on serial killers! Not actual serial killers!” George yelled back. 

Joker took a step back tugging Harley with him. They watched the two survivors fighting. 

Joker lifted his brows, glancing at Harley. “Mm...some people really shouldn’t be together.” 

Harley nodded sagely. “That’s true puddin. A good relationship is built on friendship, mutual respect and enjoying a lot of the same things together.” 

Joker grinned putting his arm around Harley’s waist and pulled her closer. “Yep. We like killing people, jokes and messing with Batman, don’t we sweets?” 

Harley nodded. “Sure do puddin. And we like having fantastic sex together.” 

Joker wrinkled his nose at her reaching up to bop the end of her nose with his gloved finger. “We sure do pumpkin.” 

Jerry shrugged. “The sex wasn’t that good.” 

Joker and Harley gasped in unison. 

George finally yelled at Jerry. “AND TO THINK I WAS GOING TO ASK YOU TO MARRY ME!!” 

Harley gasped loudly her hands to her chest. “Oh! Oh no! You were and you aren’t now?” 

George blinked turning his attention to Harley. “Ah...no. Not after this. I planned this trip so I could propose, but now…” George shook his head and looked at Jerry. “You are not the person I thought you were.” 

Jerry shrugged. “Well, I would have said no. I don’t want to be married.” 

George looked stricken. 

Joker and Harley both winced. 

Joker hissed. “Oh, that’s harsh.” 

Harley nodded her agreement. “Yeah. That was just so mean!” She glared at Jerry. “You’re a jerk. George deserves better.” 

Joker sighed turning back to George and Jerry. “Harley’s right, you do deserve better George.” 

Joker pulled his gun out and shot Jerry in the forehead. 

George gasped in shock as Jerry fell over backwards, dead. 

Joker put his gun away. “It’s better this way Georgie, like a bandaid, just gotta rip it off.” 

Joker walked over and put his arm around George’s shoulders and began to walk the man toward the gate. “You’ll get over him faster this way too. You know what you should do my friend? You and Bob there should go out for drinks. Bob’s a great listener, aren’t you Bob!” 

Bob hurried over with a nod and a bright grin. 

George looked from Joker to Bob. He found that while he was shocked at Jerry’s sudden death, that he was also weirdly relieved. 

“Ah, sure, why not?” George smiled tentatively at Bob. He felt dizzy. 

Bob came over, picked up George’s arm and put it through his with a grin, leading George out through the gate. 

Harley walked over, putting her arm around Joker’s waist, watching George and Bob disappear. “Ahh, that is so cute! Think they might develop into something?” 

Joker chuckled. “That’s me, Joker the matchmaker!” 

He turned taking Harley with him. “Come on sweets let’s go make the rest of the hench…” He stopped and carefully said. “Henchpeople, eat the rest of the chocolate and see which ones are poisonous!” 

Harley squealed. “That sounds like fun!” 

Archie muttered behind them. "Count me in."


End file.
